I, the erratic tongue of John McCain, endorse John McCain for President of the United States of America.
Why? The answer is simple. It’s not tax cuts, it’s not the war on terror, and it’s not health care. It’s because as John McCain’s tongue, I will have a much more interesting time if John becomes President. So far in this campaign I have licked Mike Huckabee, Todd Palin, and Joe the Plumber — tonguewise it has been very successful!
My concern is that if John McCain loses this election I will not have anyone or anything interesting to lick in the retirement home. But if he wins, think of the opportunity! I can lick the briefcase with the nuclear codes, slurp all over the baseball when throwing the opening baseball pitch… and if I’m really lucky maybe even french kiss Vladimir Putin’s ear.
Please vote for John McCain! If not for the country, for the tongue.